Blagojevich's Hair Blocks Brain Neurons

I would be lying to you now if I said that I have been following Illinois state politics closely over the last few years. However, the unavoidable controversy that Governor Blagojevich has caused in Illinois and the impact it is having national has become to significant to ignore. The FBI has alleged that Blagojevich attempted to sell President-Elect Obama's former Senate seat to the highest bidder he has now, despite urging from Democrats and pundits from all circles, submitted an appointment without a first finding a resolution for this political debacle.

It is unfair for me to make the unfortunately named Governor the subject of this week's post given the other politicians I could have chosen without some further justification. So, allow me to back up a bit and start from a spot which I have arbitrarily chosen as the starting point.

Months ago the Governor spoke on the record in front of dozens of reporters and clearly stated that as a Governor he had nothing to hide and then promptly invited the government to wire-tap his phone conversations in order to verify that it was true. Allow me to repeat that:

Governor Blagojevich asked the FBI to wire-tap his phone.

Now, there is one phrase that has been tossed around a lot. The overly pompous use of sentences to the effect of "now maybe I'm mistaken, but I seem to remember that we have a system of justice that says you are innocent before you are proven guilty." Well, I have a response for that.

No, you idiot.

We have a court system that says that. What we also happen to have is a court of public opinion that says guilty until your expensive defense attorneys get you off and then you are still probably guilty. The Governor has been taking huge steaming piles on the jury of that court ever since the FBI accepted his invitation and recorded hours of conversations about who he could sell the seat to and for how much unless he just nominated himself altogether. I hope somebody tells the Governor at some point that he is being charged with a felony.

The only thing that can save that evidence from being used to utterly embarrass (with the assumption that such a feat is possible with a hairstyle such as his) is if Ashton Kutcher popped out from behind a desk during opening statements and screams, "You just got Punk'd, Your Honor!"

Ok, so let's just ignore the fact that the Governor actually pays money for his hair to look like that and we will even assume that the conversations never happened and he is innocent. I am willing to extend an olive branch that far just long as...



...son of a bitch. So, let me get this straight. Just about every registered democrat has said that you shouldn't even bother appointing anybody after these allegations because of the taint that your name now has and you go and do it anyway by proclaiming it the duty of your office? A little late to start doing things by the book if you ask me. Oh yea, and nice touch with nominating an African-American to fill a seat once occupied by an African-American. What the hell is that? I will give Burris credit for his years of dedicated, ethical service...but his loses points for thinking it was a good idea to accept the appointment now instead of waiting a couple more months. But, I still am not sure if Burris realizes that he is being treated like pawn purely because he fits the two qualifications for Blagojevich of being a) African-American and b) breathing.

Am I the only one that is predicting a sad attempt by the Governor to pull some kind of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington re-creation when the Senate refuses to seat appointee Burris? Blagojevich should just be happy that I didn't make the whole post about his illogical hair.